


precious love and it's teaching me

by theprincessed



Category: Emmerdale RPF
Genre: Babies, Bonding, Conversations, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprincessed/pseuds/theprincessed
Summary: Danny sees Ryan on set with baby ‘Seb’ and it makes him realise how much he wants to start a family with Ryan. He's nervous about bringing it up, but Ryan admits that he’s been thinking the same thing.- Tumblr prompt from Anon.





	precious love and it's teaching me

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I'm cranking out the fics again lol. I would've put this in my tumblr fics post BUT I like it a lot and it got fairly long, so you get it in its own little place instead. Also, I wasn't gonna write this and then I had some inspiration and ran with it! It takes a small detour from the prompt, but I bring it back round in the end, I hope! ;)
> 
> Title and inspiration taken from James Morrison - _Precious Love_.
> 
> Anon, I hope you - and everyone else - enjoy this x

One of the surprises of Ryan's job recently is how at ease he now feels when he sees on the call sheet of a spring morning that Lily is coming into work today. At first, he'd been petrified of holding any baby, let alone such a tiny one in hands as big as his, but they turned out to be an advantage as he quickly learnt he could make her feel safe and comfortable.

“She's still asleep, so that's a good sign,” Lily's mum had beamed at him the day he'd first met the Westmorelands as a family.

He thought she was just being polite when she saw how nervous he was, but Lily being fond of sleeping during takes became such a regular occurrence that it was almost odd when she started to be a bit more awake and alert. Having put on weight and grown, it's hard to believe the whole of her could easily fit into both of Ryan's hands back in the day as she's brought on set today by her mum. They're on the Mill set and he hasn't seen her all week, having to make do with an empty pram instead, so he stands up to greet them.

“Hey sweetheart, look at you!” he grins, as Lily's mum shifts her from her shoulder to the crook of her elbow so that Lily can see Ryan. “You're getting so big now,”

“Don't I know it,” her mum chuckles. “I'm starting to get dead arms from holding her when she's grumpy because _someone_ hates it unless I'm standing up. Not that she'll be a problem!” she hastens to add, as Ryan must look a touch panicked. Lily's never been anything but a complete angel on set. “She's fallen asleep on you so many times,”

“Yeah, I must be that tedious,” he jokes, awkwardly shy about that since Danny's the one known to be legendary with kids of all ages.

Lily's mum is about to reply when her husband comes rushing in. “Sorry, just parking the car - hasn't she handed her over yet?”

Ryan shakes his hand hello as she rolls her eyes and carefully does just that; Ryan starting to hold her more upright to keep her occupied with all the chaos going on around her. 

“I'm proud of you, my little star,” she coos, kissing her daughter's forehead and stepping back to let her husband do the same.

Lily's parents sit somewhere out of the way of the crew, but close enough in case Lily needs them because she's still so young. Danny hasn't arrived yet, so Ryan is preparing for another short wait with Lily for company when a bulb in one of the lighting rigs suddenly fizzles and pops with a moderate bang. A couple of people jump, but of course it's an even bigger deal for a baby and Lily's face immediately grows red and crumples into a loud, agitated cry. Ryan freezes for a second or two then rushes over to her mum, who's arms are already outstretched but, when Ryan dips to pass her, Lily shocks them all by crying even harder. There's actual tear tracks on her little face and Ryan feels his heart physically lurch as he looks at Lily's mum in confusion and he eases Lily closer to his shoulder.

“Shh, it's alright, sweetheart,” he whispers, bouncing her gently like he's seen Danny do with his squawking baby relatives. “It's just a broken light – nothing can hurt you, I promise – shh now,”

One arm under her rump, Ryan smooths his other hand at the back of her head that's still only covered with a fine smattering of hair and keeps his mouth close to her temple, murmuring nonsense sounds over and over.

There might be a wet spot on his shirt after this, yet he can't find it in himself to care as luckily her bawling starts to subside. He nods at Lily's concerned parents the more she quietens then takes her to sit on the Mill sofa. He's as stunned as anyone that he's managed to calm her down because it's the first time something like that has happened in her presence and he didn't expect he'd be able to cope.

Eventually, he eases her away from his chest and lays her back onto his raised knees, his feet on the edge of the coffee table. From this upright position, he wipes her tears with a gentle finger and the dribble from her wobbly mouth, her expression showing indecision as to whether she's finished her crying. To help, Ryan gets an idea and grabs her small hands, her fists wrapped around each of his thumbs.

“Shall we sing?” he asks, bringing her wandering focus back to his face. “Yeah? How about - “ He thinks for a moment then raises her arms in the air. “ _Fishy in the water, fishy in the sea, who'd you like best, fishy or me_!”

He drags the 'E' out at the end and keeps his voice light and bright, enough to make her gurgle and him smile down at her, encouraging. For the second time, he lets go of her hands to cradle his underneath her body, sitting her up. Animated, he gets to the end of the song again then quickly lowers his knees as he leans over. The change in perspective and the motion makes Lily giggle.

“Is it me? Am I funny?” he laughs with her, tickling her chest that's dressed in a navy top with a dinosaur on the front and some dark green trousers. “Wanna go again? Ready, 1 – 2 - ”

But he doesn't get to finish his countdown as something catches the corner of his eye and he looks up to see Danny, arrived on set and staring at Lily. He's had a handful of scenes with her and a couple of cuddles offscreen, but hasn't yet spent a great deal of time with her, so Ryan gestures for him to sit down as he adjusts Lily into the crook of his arm and sits her upright, facing Danny as he continues to stare. When he takes a seat on the sofa, but says nothing, Ryan smiles.

“Getting jealous, are we?” he jokes then looks at Lily, “What d'you say, Lilz? Wanna go to Uncle Danny?”

When Ryan is ready to hand her over, Danny blinks hard like he's been daydreaming the whole time. “Sorry, what?”

“Hey, are you alright?”

Finally, Danny drags his eyes to Ryan's face, slight concern in his eyes. “Hm? - Yeah, sorry, I'm fine.”

Sceptical, he passes Lily to Danny slowly anyway and they chat to her for a while like she knows what they're saying, pressed together on the sofa as they wait to be told to find their marks for the scene.

\---

Hours later, Ryan and Danny say goodbye to Lily for the day and head to their dressing room to pick up their stuff and head home. Now that he doesn't have to hide how shocked he was at Lily's reaction to _not_ seeking comfort from her mum over the busted light, Ryan blows out a long breath and briefly slumps onto the black leather sofa in the room.

“Well, that was a weird afternoon,” he sighs. “A light bust on set earlier and Lily got scared, obviously, but she wouldn't go to her mum and - ”

“I know.”

That was the last thing Ryan expected him to say, so it pulls him up short. “You know?”

“I saw you. You were - ” Danny stops putting things in his coat pockets and shrugs, expression strangely helpless. “You were so good with her,”

“I had to be, she wouldn't go to her mum,” Ryan chuckles. “I was petrified! It felt like the first day all over again, but with added crying,”

“You calmed her down and it hit me – I saw everything and I thought yeah, maybe this could work – maybe I could - ”

Ryan leans his elbows onto his knees, his concern returning. “You could what? You can tell me anything, you know that, right? I've been worried since you came on set and you were just staring at Lily like you weren't even seeing her, or me.” Danny snorts derisively, frustration coming out as he visibly struggles or because he feels caught out, Ryan wishes he knew which. “Baby - ”

“ - I want one.” Silence follows what Danny just blurted out and as Ryan's still processing it, he sighs. “I want a kid, Ryan. I want to start a family, with you.”

Now Ryan's term of endearment seems like a poor choice and rather than relieved, Danny looks disappointed and fidgety. He's so busy still thinking about how he is, how he feels, that it takes Ryan a further second to realise that he hasn't reacted properly.

“I think – I think we should go home,” is what comes out instead.

He feels his chest constrict as Danny hangs his head, not protesting or fighting to convince Ryan of what he's just told him. It's a big issue, children, and after today with Lily it's been a reality check and he'd rather not discuss it at work. He believes they should take their time with something like this, so he gets to his feet.

“Ryan - ” Danny grabs his wrist as he shuffles past him.

“Home, yeah?”

He forces a smile briefly onto his lips and some of the tension leaves his body when Danny follows him out of the room and they get into Ryan's car. Sometimes, they drive individually, other times they arrive together in the morning and Ryan's so grateful that he can concentrate on driving tonight. The elephant sits in the backseat of his car, taunting them, but he can't explain. He needs space in his head and time, even if the silence is heavy and awkward for the first time, well...ever.

As he's pulling the car to a stop outside their flat, Ryan glances sidelong at Danny staring out the window, forlorn. He hates that he might've hurt him and that maybe he feels like his mistake of blurting it out like that – because Ryan could tell from his shocked wide eyes that it definitely wasn't supposed to come out like that – has blown up in his face big time. 

Ryan aches to reassure him somehow and he decides that he doesn't want a journey like that again, if he can help it. Not in the mood for music or droning voices, the radio was off and it had been stilted quiet all the way. He squeezes Danny's arm gently then gets out of the car, walking ahead to unlock their front door and ready himself to do the talking.

“I'm sorry,” Danny says gruffly, dropping his things in the hallway and pulling his coat inside out to throw it carelessly on the sofa before he sits down next to it and rubs his hands tiredly over his face. “I never meant to tell you like that. It's just the nerves got to me and it..came out.”

He shrugs and there's that helpless look again, like he's in too deep and can't find a way out. 

Ryan rushes to sit beside him, taking his hands. He feels the electricity between them as they touch properly now, Danny's fingers solid and real beneath his. “No, _I'm_ sorry I reacted like I did. But the truth is...I'm scared.” He bites his lip as his shyness gets the better of him until Danny squeezes his hands, rightly wanting to know more after a confession like that. “Today, when Lily cried - I wasn't expecting it, which sounds stupid now I think about it, because she's a baby, of course she's gonna cry, but that's it, isn't it? I've been spoilt and I was pretending like I wasn't terrified the whole time. It's all I could think about when you said you wanted a baby,”

“A kid,”

“What?”

“I said I wanted a kid,” Danny smiles. “I want a family with you, Ryan. I love you so much and I think you'd make a great dad y'know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! That's what I couldn't help staring at when you were with Lily.” He kisses Ryan's knuckles because he's still sat bundled up in his coat. “I saw the whole thing and I meant what I said – you're so good with her, better than you realise, but we don't have to have a baby. The kid could be any age. Would you – want that?”

“I don't know,” he says honestly. “But I'll give it some thought. Thank you for telling me. It means a lot.”

“I'm cool with that.” Danny grins, leaning in.

Ryan meets his lips eagerly and lets go of his hands to cup his own around Danny's jaw. His stomach flips with excitement when he feels Danny start to undress him before he remembers that he's at home, wearing his coat. With a quiet laugh, he helps get his arms free then lunges for his kiss again, knocking him onto his back on the sofa to pour apologies and endless love from his mouth to Danny's. When hands reach his arse on the outside of his jeans, Ryan pulls away but keeps Danny's head caged between his forearms, his fingers free to brush through his hair.

“By the way, how long have you felt like this?”

Danny bites his lip, but he must know that Ryan needs to know because he relents. “Since Lily arrived. I knew it'd be a big experience for you, a learning curve, but I didn't think it'd affect me too.”

“You're so beautiful,” he sighs, intensely serious. He hopes Danny can tell that he doesn't only mean physically. “I love you.”

Ryan nudges their noses together and he kisses Danny once more before he can reply, satisfied without anymore need for words for now.

\---

Without words stays with him for the next couple of weeks and he decides to surprise Danny one Saturday morning with breakfast in bed. He has an ulterior motive and he puts it in the form of a thick book onto the tray he carries their food on, smiling softly when he returns to their bedroom to find Danny waking up slowly.

“What's all this?”

“Poached eggs with avocado & feta smash,” Ryan explains quickly, the nerves kicking in.

“He says, so casually,” Danny teases, oblivious. “Seriously, quit acting and be a proper chef.”

“Shut up!”

His blue eyes sparkle when Ryan laughs and slides back into bed next to him, both of them dressed in out of shape, comfy t-shirts and their underwear. “You made me a coffee too?” He picks up the mug to take a sip and it's then that he fully notices the book, not the newspaper that has been brought to him in the past when his boyfriend has felt like treating him. “And a book, apparently. What's it about?”

It's not difficult to tell, even with it face down, but Danny looks about two seconds from pouncing on him, so clearly he wants to milk the moment and have Ryan spell it out for him, so he reaches over and turns the book so that the title can be read in its usual black and yellow style:

**PARENTING FOR DUMMIES**

“My answer's Yes,” Ryan whispers, his palms sweating but his heart all in. “Let's do it. Let's have a kid.” He twists to open the drawer of his bedside cabinet, pulling out more books and a few leaflets and dropping them onto Danny's stomach. “A baby, a toddler, hey – even a teenager if you want one. I couldn't think of a better person to have all this with y'know. I love you.”

Danny's beaming and his eyes are glassy with overwhelmed, hopefully happy emotion and he tugs Ryan in by his misshapen t-shirt collar to kiss him hard and grateful. “I love you too,” he croaks.

“Good.” Ryan gently kisses Danny's nose then picks up the baby book, gesturing to the food. “Now, you eat and I'll read to you. If we're doing this, you're gonna hear all about it.”

Even with his future weekly panics, he needn't have worried. 

It turns out to be the best decision he ever made because, family, with Danny, means everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies x
> 
> I'm on tumblr at [theprincessed](http://www.theprincessed.tumblr.com). Come chat to me. :)


End file.
